i'm writing in this because none of my friends read it. and i have shit to say.

i am so so tired of living this life with you. every day is a constant struggle. i have to always wonder where you are, what you're doing, who you're with .. if you're cheating. and i'm done with it. i have tried so hard to make you happy. everytime you called me a dumb bitch, i said sorry. everytime you called me a smut, i said sorry. everytime you told me what a waste i was, i said sorry. well you know what? fuck being sorry. i didn't do anything to you. i drove you everywhere you wanted to go, i bought you things you wanted, i stayed loyal. and true. even when we WEREN'T together. so sorry for nothing. you deserve everything you get. because you can't go treating people like you treated me. it's going to come back and kick you in the ass someday. for 3 1/2 years, you wanted me so bad. you would've done anything for a chance with me. you truly LOVED me. what happened to that? you changed, so much. from the person you used to be. you look straight through me. and you don't even care about me anymore. i have never loved someone so much in my whole entire life. i fell in love with my best friend of 3 1/2 years, but these past 4 months have showed me how much you changed.. and how you're not the best friend i fell in love with you. you don't give a damn about me. i don't know why it's taken me so long to realize that.

you lost something so good. someday you're going to realize what you could've had.

and by then- - sorry won't even fucking cut it.